Many light years ago when hubby dearest decided to become a mason I knew nothing of what he was talking about (I suspect he didn’t know much either), and neither did the family. The Masonic Lodge and our residence shared a common wall and we (the kids & I) found it incredibly funny to see him dress up in all his finery to go next door for something that he pompously referred to as Meetings!
We were of course allowed a peep into the pomp and show during the family get-together meetings when we would see men of all shapes and sizes wearing colorful aprons, running around with a great sense of purpose and raising toasts with glasses of water! The ceremony, the sense of import and the general ambience lent a somber note to the proceedings but try as we did – we could never figure out the rationale behind the tamasha. “So, what do you do there” was answered vaguely if at all, and all that we could see was that the man left home looking like the cat’s whiskers and came back home a drunk tomcat.
I must say that for me – the wife – the importance of the Lodge began and ended with taking care that the white shirts were laundered in time. Since the whole rigmarole excluded the wife and the family – there was always a faint resentment. As a young wife I expected my husband to spend weekends with me and not in some dreary building which he called the temple but which the rest of the town’s population called the “Jadoo Ghar”.
It’s almost twenty five years since the day hubby took his first step towards that Jadoo Ghar. Much has changed in the interim - towns have changed, the family has scattered, we are now grandparents, but what has not changed is the reverence with which even today that white shirt is pulled out of the wardrobe every other weekend. The fervor for the lodge and its activities takes precedence over everything else and even family events have to be scheduled around the fact that they should not clash with lodge meetings!
What has dramatically changed however is the family’s attitude towards what was previously referred to as hubby’s idiosyncrasy. We have come to realize that every person has his own driving force – something that compels him to do good for his fellowmen and if hubby’s driving force takes him through the portals of a Masonic Lodge then so be it!
How does that impact us? Are we still laughing at him or getting frustrated with his pre-occupation with the lodge? Sometimes we do – but more often that not we all smile indulgently when he talks about his achievements and his ranks and the recognition he has earned over the years. We support him in what he enjoys most – an evening out with men who are still boys at heart. He can discuss lofty ideals, perform rituals with great solemnity, hobnob with the fraternity and go home feeling good about a job well done!
During the process of course a lot of good work gets done too. Work for the disabled, for the poor and needy and for the terminally ill.
I am a proud Masonic wife today – proud of the fact that through the Masonic principles of Universal Brotherhood my husband has chosen to make a difference, albeit small, in his social environment. Well done Hubby!
Ray
