Friday, March 18, 2011

Being Mother

How does a mother know?? Anything or everything?? When to be there and when to silently withdraw? How does she know that her child is tired or upset or needs TLC without being told? Even when the child is 54 and the mother is 80? The point is how does a mother KNOW! 

Mine is living with me these days and I can see she knows - all the times. She can read my face and sometimes even my subconscious thoughts - it's pretty much difficult to get away from her concern by saying 'nothings wrong' - and even though I may not share anything with her she does not hold it against me. And that I believe is why a mother is the only selfless relative you have. 

Silently and unobtrusively she moves around doing this and helping with that and often when I set out to do a household chore I see that it has already been done. No amount of protests about letting the work be and insistence on relaxing and resting have any effect. She says working is her way of keeping her creaky bones moving! I know that old age is so lonely and so devoid of purpose. The least i can do is respect her sense of purpose and so I let her be!

Am I like her as a mother? Maybe and then maybe not. Maybe not because I know more about my children than my mother ever did about me (our generation gap was phenomenal). I made my children independent in thought and action and cut the umbilical cord eons ago (at least that is what I would like to believe). And  I don't interfere or ask questions (at least not the pointy kinds). But then..maybe yes I am like her because I too silently fret, worry and pray. I too have silent conversations with my offspring and I also advice them in my mind (silently). Just like my mother does in her three hours of daily prayers I too wish I were God because then I would have the ability to make their lives perfect! 

Are these the woes of being mother or are these the joys? Perennial question.....

Kiran